Attiude of Gratitude Community Sadhana – Day 11 – Just Breathe

The focus for my group today was to be conscious of what we all do everyday, we breathe. And what a great thing to be thankful for right?!

The breath of life!!!!!

Where our breath lives our emotions live also and I am conscious of both today. This time last year my family and I were on the road traveling across the country for healing for my husbands end of chemotherapy. We thought that fresh air, sunshine and camping in the most beautiful places in The United States, The National Parks was just what he needed to recover from cancer. It did wonders for us all.

This time last year we were in New Mexico. We spent a lot of time there, it was great. Just thinking about our trip often makes me really emotional. Today I long for the open road and wish we could be back out there in the middle of nowhere. So it’s a good thing I am focusing on being grateful for breathing today because I can take a good long deep breath to bring myself to the present and feel the intense gratitude for my life, which each breath brings.

Inhale, exhale, give thanks and when you are feeling emotional, remember to just breathe!

An ancient tree in The Valley of Fires Recreation Area in New Mexico.

Photo by Siri Chand Kaur.

Attitude of Gratitude Community Sadhana – Day 10 – Being Present With All That Is Yummy For My Tummy

Today was all about food, having gratitude for the supermarket that I shopped at and the amazing variety of just about anything a person could want to consume, gratitude that in this country there are supermarkets open twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. Sadly, all too many people don’t have the luxury of a supermarket or even food to eat for that matter. I am grateful that I have never had to experience true hunger, starvation or having no available food.

I am REALLY, REALLY, grateful for that.

I found a quote upon which to base the theme for today by a French journalist named Charles Pierre Monselet:

“Enchant, stay beautiful and graceful, but do this, eat well. Bring the same consideration to the preparation of your food as you devote to your appearance. Let your dinner be a poem, like your dress.”

I love the idea of making each meal enchanting in some way, letting your meals be like a poem, a work of art. It made me realize all too often how I just cook without really taking into account the beauty of food. The process in which it takes to get that beet I had for supper onto my plate. From a seed being planet and cared for by a farmer to it being picked and shipped to a store and me buying it and all the people that worked so hard for me to have it. If you really break it down, there are so many, many people involved. And the beauty of a beet freshly sliced, that gorgeous color and crisp earthy taste. Ah, so good!

So today I took time to be really present while I shopped for probably the last time until next year, we get all of our fruits and vegetables from organic farms who run CSA’s, Community Supported Agriculture programs so when they begin there really is hardly a need to go to the supermarket often. I’ll probably only supplement by going to the health food store for grains, etc.

I also made sure to be present while making supper. We had hummus wraps with fresh salad greens, cucumbers, carrots, beets, tomatoes, parsley and cilantro. I enjoy cooking but I find that when I engage in really being present while I am cooking and being thankful for the animals and plants sacrificed in the making of my meal and being thankful for all the people who worked so hard bringing the ingredients of my dish to me, that I get such a much more rewarding experience out of it.

Conscious, mindful, blessed eating = more yummy for my tummy!

Attitude of Gratitude Community Sadhana – Day 9 -Feminine Divine

Today is day 9 of our community sadhana and today is Mother’s Day, a day to celebrate mothers everywhere. Those who are mothers to human babies, fur babes as I like to call them (pets), caretakers to Mother Earth and caretakers in general. It is a day to celebrate being a woman and divine feminine energy.

I suggested to our group that today everyone say two of the most powerful words in existence to every woman who has cared for them, inspired them, helped them. Those words are “Thank you!”

So today I say “Thank you!” to my own mother, my grandmothers, great grandmothers and all the women that have ever been and are in my family. I say “Thank you!” to Mother Earth, “Thank you!” to the Goddess, “Thank you!” to my daughter and all girls who naturally possess mother energy, “Thank you!” to all women who also possess that energy through their connection to our planet, the Goddess and the feminine energy that naturally resides within. I say “Thank you!” that I was lucky enough to be born a woman!

Celebrate and have gratitude for all that is feminine today.

Attitude of Gratitude Community Sadhana – Day 8 – Giving Without a Thank You

So yesterday as you might have seen I made a list of all my possessions and featured in this blog the things I owned that were in my living room.

Today’s post will be short because I want to act instead of write. I am looking over my list again and choosing at least four items to donate to charity.

I am doing this to merge into a state of shunia. Shunia is when you “zero” yourself out, when you do something for someone else without the trappings of the ego getting in the way. You give without any thought of receiving anything in return. This “zeroing” out creates a vacuum and the Universe comes in to fill that vacuum often in the form of blessings and other forms of prosperity.

For me it feels good to give things away. I have too much and I know it. I get attached to objects that ultimately I will be unable to take with me when I leave this life. Objects have kept me from experiencing life on a deeper level, my possessions have squelched opportunities in the past that came up and there is something nice about living with less, less clutter, more simply.

There is also something nice, a really good feeling, knowing that someone, somewhere out there will benefit by what I have given away.

So I’m off to run around my house with a box and a bag and start grabbing things to donate. I hope you’ll do the same!

Attitude of Gratitude Community Sadhana – Day 7 – Mountains of Possessions

Today the community sadhana members and I made it through our first week of our gratitude sadhana. I decided to make our suggestion of the day one where we would make a list of all the possessions we have, and I mean everything we own.

I was inspired by a quote from Epictetus:

“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.”

I am sitting in my living room as I type this and will make a list of things in just this room:

A television, a wooden television stand, blue-ray player, Wii, Wii accessories, a basket, two children’s chairs, (many, many) DVD’s, two curtains, two curtain rods, two Celtic stained glass panels, a mirror, art and photographs on the walls, a cuckoo clock, (many, many) books, a bookcase, a plant I’ve had since the third grade, a coffee table, a chair and a half, a sofa, an ottoman, a dog crate that is made to look like a coffee table, three stained glass lamps, two hanging glass candle holders, the broom my husband and I jumped over when we were married, the cord we were handfasted with,

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Handfasting

my dried wedding bouquet and our dried wedding headdresses, our wedding candles, our vows in a fancy bag, a shell holding dried lavender, a shelf, a wooden key holder, blankets, various crystals and stones, candles, feathers, and our wool area rug.

That list is only from ONE room. Today is all about taking in what we have. I have a lot of possessions in my living room and I feel gratitude for each and every one of them.  Looking around I feel the most gratitude for my wedding possessions and the plant that I have had since buying it at my third grade teacher, Mrs. Nestor’s plant sale. It amazes me that with all the moving that I’ve done and everything I’ve been through that it still survives and is with me. I love that plant! I even have babies of it growing!

This is the beginning of a two part exercise focusing on things, stuff, objects, possessions. Feeling the gratitude is for today, tomorrow we will experience it on even a different and deeper level and I invite you to join me with this two day powerful process!

Go make your list, feel the gratitude for all you have and then place the list in an area where you can see it throughout the day and then hold onto that list for tomorrows exercise.

Attitude of Gratitude Community Sadhana – Day 6 – Overcoming Obstacles

Before I even get into writing anything today I urge you to watch this video, it brings everything into perspective:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=qX9FSZJu448

Wow right?! I mean WOW!!!!! Behold the power of dedication and believing in yourself!

I suggested to those participating in the community sadhana to reflect today on a time in their life when they had an obstacle before them and to allow the feelings of that experience sink in and then shift that energy to what they did to overcome that obstacle.Then they were to experience how they felt once they fully overcame the challenge and soak up the gratitude for the strength they found in themselves and for the people who helped them pull through. Finally they were to take on a creative project to express their gratitude.

I recall the time when I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  I actually remember the moment when I knew that something had “cracked”, was really wrong with me. My family and I were on the road for my husbands post chemo recovery support trip. He had to fly back to our home state for tests and the children and I stayed in Colorado at The Great Sand Dunes National Park where we were volunteering as camp hosts. Our plans were to continue on sometime after he returned and make it to California, up the coast to Washington, maybe even Alaska and then meander back East dipping South and North along the way.

One afternoon he called to check in and announced that he had to get back home immediately to return to work. His oncologist would not allow us the time to further heal in any alternative way. He had even put a deposit down for treatment at The Hippocrates Heath Institute in Florida,

http://www.hippocratesinst.org/

but she didn’t care about any of that. She was going to inform his job that in her opinion he could return to work immediately. So we were going to have to high tail it back home and with two little ones in the car, long driving days are not easy.

Now I knew at some point that we were going to have to go home but I wasn’t expecting this and I truly felt that my husband needed more time to heal. I began to cry and cry and cry some more. I cried for three whole days all day and night. I just couldn’t stop crying. That’s when I knew that something wasn’t right with me.

Not long after that I had my first panic attack. Not having ever experienced anything like this before, the sensations of someone strangling you along with the sensations of a heart attack and more didn’t sit well. My emotions began to fly in every direction and I felt like I was really losing myself.

For me I had help in overcoming the obstacle of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I went back to my therapist and old friend Buffy Bernhardt and started having sessions with her once a week. She suggested a homeopath to work with named Laura Josephson. I started working with her as well. My husband who had been through so much himself offered me his full support and ears to listen and arms to hold and hug.

I made up my mind that I didn’t want to live in a state of anger and panic attacks and raging emotions and negativity. I was going to work the program of healing lined out by my therapist and homeopath. After about seven months I no longer had any panic attacks (and to this day have not had even one), and my emotions are continuing to get more and more back on track.

I have gratitude for my own strength and determination to overcome PTSD.

I have gratitude for my therapist:

http://www.sacredmotherhood.com/about/buffy/

I have gratitude for my homeopath:

http://www.laurajosephson.com/

And I have gratitude for my husband’s support.

Attitude of Gratitude Community Sadhana – Day 5 – If you’re happy and you know it…..

Let’s get right to the great quote I found today:

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” – Marcel Proust

I liked it for two reasons, there are flowers just starting to appear in my garden and it made me think of my husband, he REALLY makes me happy.

I suggested to my group that today they either visit, call or write to the person in their life who makes them the most happy.

For me this is my husband. Now it does get a little dicey here because my children make me really happy too but without my husband I wouldn’t have the children that I do so I’m choosing to focus on the person who changed my life for the better.

Frankie, my husband, is a cancer survivor. He got stage three colon cancer in 2010 that spread to his lymph nodes. Our daughter was just two years and five months old and our son was only six weeks old. It was horrible for all of us but the journey was especially difficult for him. The chemo was horrific with nausea and hair loss and neuropathy and pain, surgery and more. But thankfully he made it through and is now in remission.

Before we met I had just gotten out of a ten year on and off relationship that was fraught with heartache and was really, really unhealthy for me in every way. I had spent years wishing on stars at night for a man to be sent to me who would be kind, honest, not cheat one me, treat me well, and truly love me for me. I finally had my wish come true when Frankie and I met and got even more then I asked for!

And now nearly nine years later I am happier then I have ever been in my entire life. Frankie makes my soul blossom. He brings happiness into my life by being the person he is, and through our goofiness and the laughter and love of our children.

I am grateful that through using the law of attraction for many, many years before I even knew what the law of attraction was, that I got exactly what I asked for.

Last night I was teaching a prosperity yoga class with a focus on intuition and answered prayers. Praying is asking the Universe for what you want. Intuition is hearing the Universe answer you back.

I am grateful that I prayed all those years and that I had the intuition to let my guard down and open myself up to get to know Frankie when we were first introduced.

Today is for you my sweet! Thank you for being in my life!

Photo of Frankie and I during our backyard Pagan wedding in 2008.

Attitude of Gratitude Community Sadhana – Day 4 – Natural Calling

Let’s start with a video. This is one that really touched me by filmmaker Louie Schwartzber. Take a look:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=gXDMoiEkyuQ

Wasn’t that great! I absolutely love the images of the animals and natural wonders of our world and the words of the elderly gentleman and the young girl were inspirational!

I am finding that with this sadhana I am feeling a stronger and stronger calling to the outdoors. I know, you might be saying, “Come on now, it’s only day 4 for crying out loud!” But that is one of the grand gifts that we can be given when doing a sadhana! We can experience profound changes or messages on even the first day.

For me, with each passing day I am longing more and more to be outside in the middle of nowhere. Those incredible places that I have been privileged to visit are calling me. The National Parks which I can only say over and over how much I adore, are calling me. The wind and stillness of The Great Sand Dunes, the animals of Yellowstone, the mystery and majesty of Three Rivers Petroglyphs (A Bureau of Land Management site.), the awe inspiring Devils Tower, the amazing Wind Cave National Park, The Badlands, Redwoods, Mesa Verde, Grand Canyon, Cades Cove in The Smokey Mountains, Shenandoah and so many, many more.

My backyard, as cute as it is, just isn’t cutting the mustard. I already harbored a strong fondness of the outdoors but it has been interesting to witness just how amped up that feeling has become over the last four days of this gratitude sadhana.

Today I feel grateful for places so quiet that you can only hear the sounds of animals, nature and your own breathing and so remote that as far as you can see in every direction there is nothing but wilderness.

I hear you calling and I’m working on getting back to you.

Attitude of Gratitude Community Sadhana – Day 3 – Science and The Universe

I run an email list and a Facebook page offering support and guidance to people who want to participate in community sadhana’s that I lead or co-lead.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/40-Day-Community-Sadhana-at-The-Yoga-Co-op/343152615695572

Everyday during a sadhana I send out an email and post something that relates in some way to our focus. I love using quotes that I find to support the messages that I send. This is the one I used for today by Terri Guillemets:

“As each day comes to us refreshed and anew, so does my gratitude renew itself daily. The breaking of the sun over the horizon is my grateful heart dawning upon a blessed world.”

I really like this quote. Like with yesterdays post I am brought back to the time I have spent traveling with my family on the road camping across the United States. All of the sunrises and sunsets I got to witness and all of the stars I was able to see thanks to the lack of light pollution in many of our National Parks.  I am inspired by the imagery in the quote as well, looking at each day as an opening to awareness of our blessed world. It is amazing to grasp that we are standing on top of a planet that is in a solar system that is only a teeny tiny part of our huge universe.

For me today was a day of science. I had another MRI and five vials of blood taken in order to assess my adrenals and to see if I have osteoarthritis and/or a pinched nerve in my neck. As I lay in the machine taking my MRI and listening to sounds of thumping and buzzing and imagining I was in an episode of “Battlestar Galactica”  (the more recent version) or “Star Gate Universe” two of my all time favorite sci-fi shows, I felt a deep sense of gratitude for science and all the advancements we have made in the field of medicine and diagnosis. I can only imagine where we will be one hundred years from now.

I missed the viewing of the recent super moon due to cloudy skies in my area and it’s been a while since I’ve seen a shooting star. It is cloudy where I am today too so I doubt I’ll see much tonight but I know that out there are undiscovered treasures and beauties. I am saddened that there will be no further space exploration in our country. What an absolute shame.

One of my favorite people, Neil deGrasse Tyson, has a quote that I love, here it is:

“I look up at the night sky, and I know that, yes, we are part of this Universe, we are in this Universe, but perhaps more important than both of those facts is that the Universe is in us. When I reflect on that fact, I look up—many people feel small, because they’re small and the Universe is big, but I feel big, because my atoms came from those stars.”

Today I am grateful for science. I am grateful for the stars. I am grateful that the Universe is indeed within me. I am grateful that like Neil, I too feel big.

The Orion Nebula courtesy of hubblesite.org

Attitude of Gratitiude Community Sadhana – Day 2 – Paradise Within

Day 2 and one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite artists was ringing in my ears this morning. I adore the singer songwriter Richie Havens and have been blessed to have seen him perform live many times and have been able to meet him twice. He always smells of patchouli, my favorite scent and is warm and genuine and oh so talented. I was saddened to visit his website recently in hopes of finding his tour dates for this year and learned that due to health problems, after forty years of touring he has retired. I am grateful to have been able to see him at all.

So one of his songs, “Paradise”, on his album, “Wishing Well” I had listened to over and over for quite some time before this sadhana. I knew it had some meaning for me.

Here is a link to listen to it via You Tube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qFQIqfholo

My family and I are avid campers and outdoorsy people. I have traveled and camped all across the United States three times and have been to nearly every state. When the weather is warm my family and I are camping every weekend if we can. The National Parks are our favorite places to camp. I love the crisp air, the quiet, and of course the flora and fauna. I saw a video this morning that reminded me why I love being in nature so much, here is a link to it:

http://vimeo.com/31158841

So what does Richie Haven’s song “Paradise” and the outdoors mean to me for this second day of my gratitude sadhana? I have visited and camped in so many places, once again especially in our National Parks, that sure seem like paradise to me. But paradise really is a place that exists inside of oneself.

Today I will be taking some time to breathe long and deep with my eyes closed while connecting with paradise within. When I feel that the connection has been made I will take one final inhale and exhale and then open my eyes having had fully awakened paradise and now seeing the world through new eyes.

While typing this a hummingbird just landed at our “flying dinosaur feeder” (bird feeder) as we call it in our house. That to me is a sign that I am on the right track.

For me, being able to be open to paradise within helps to further cultivate my attitude of gratitude. I can see that hummingbird and view it as not only a beautiful bird but one that makes me feel like I am in paradise. I can listen to the sound of my children’s laughter and feel like I am in paradise. I can gaze at the new leaves on the trees and feel like I am in paradise. And when I feel down, or negativity comes over me, instead of having to wait until I traveled somewhere to experience that feeling I will only need to go within for that lovely paradise feeling to take over and elevate me.